Monday, August 13, 2012

I posted a quick status on facebook this morning and I was floored at the outpouring of support I received from everyone. I will admit when I posted I was in a very Mama Wolf place. And so the ( shorter ) version is known I will just fill everyone in.
Upon dropping the girls off today I was heading back to work when Emm calls me up, obviously upset. I turn around and as I am walking up to the front of the school I see the girls standing outside by the car drop of point, crying. Crying!!! Not in the school... not in an office or even by the front door. No... right where the kids get out of the cars. They were not allowed into the school because of their hair. And Abi's pants, which were Emm's uniform pants from last year. But that is a minor thing. After a talk with a counselor I was a little calmer but was still not guaranteed that they could stay the day. So we spoke with the principal. She and I were both heated and both trying to get out points across. And while I was trying to be understanding but yet defensive I felt she wasn't exactly listening to me. I was willing to try and work things out with the school but the "sterility and conformity" comment sent me over the edge. Emm said my face completely changed when she said that. The other thing that irked me was their solution to the "problem" was to either dye their hair a dark colour or have it stripped/bleached, and the school would pay for it. I have a rule when it comes to the hair... I don't care what colour but nothing permanent and NO bleaching. Once the principal figured out that it was not permanent and would was out with in the month then it was considered settled as long as it is fading by the end of the week then they could still come to school and just don't dye it again.

Fast forward a very busy and grumpy first day....

After I got off from work I went to the middle school to get a medical form for Abi.... the nurse was in a meeting and so I decided to wait. While sitting there the Principal walks in with the area Superintendent. They are walking around and such  and then go into her office. As he is leaving he passes by me and I stopped him. He immediately took a defensive pose and I let him know that what I had to say was good and a compliment and he loosened up. I thanked him for the kindness he showed my daughters last year when my Grandfather passed away. He left a group of obviously important people and personally walked Emm to her locker and allowed Abi to follow. He then hugged them and said some kind words to them and then to me. There was some chit chatted and he asked me how Argyle's first day went. We shook hands and he left. Now, I could have just let him walk out and not said a word today but I knew the principal would come out of her office at some point soon. Hehe. Well hello! Who is now in front of me wanting a moment of my time?

Hello Principal. Well we went into her office and not at her desk, but 2 chairs set up on the other side. We had a talk... there were many apologies and admittances of imperfections. She agreed she did not handle it well at all, and I agreed. I also apologized, though. I did come at her in that way only I can. I can be soft and squishy, but when my cubs are crying you had better not be the one who caused the tears to fall.  She said she was trying to protect my girls from the other kids because kids can be cruel. My response? They are sisters whom are 17 months apart... Who can be more cruel then they are too each other! She made note that she saw me talking to the Superintendent and that she wanted me to know she already spoke to him about my girls and several others in the school. He made it clear that by no means can anything be said about their hair. I made it clear my talking to him had nothing to do with her. I think she was relieved.

So all in all, my little freaks can continue to be little freaks. I will be keeping my eye on the principal and how she treats the kids. I love how Emm protected her sister and despite everything kept her head. She also came up with a plan on how to fight this before she knew it had been resolved. Despite it all they still had a great first day and are looking forward to the coming year. It should be interesting.

6 comments:

  1. I am happy that you were able to come to a resolution and you thoughts and concerns are valid. You are great model for what a great parent is and should be

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  2. I aspire to be as awesome as you when my kids get to school age. You rock out loud Marcie, and so do your girls!

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  4. "Sterility and conformity" are basically the point of the dress code... working toward eliminating a stifling dress code would be more productive and admirable than simply being defiant.

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  5. That's the same BS reason my mom gave me when I begged and pleaded with her to let me dye my hair crazy colors when I was in high school in the 90s. She refused since she was worried that I would get picked on. But truly it didn't matter, since I was somewhat of an outcast anyways. And I think almost everyone in high school / middle school gets picked on, whether you look normal or not. Kids are just horribly mean at that age, unfortunately.

    Anyways, I think it's awesome you let your girls' freak flag fly.

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  6. Uniformity is the reason for the dress code and other then being irked in the beginning and having a difficult time trying to find my girls pants, I have no problem with it. I have used it to teach the girls about rules and regulations and no matter what job you have there is some sort of "uniform". It is nice to be able to come home and shed school or work and put on your "home" cloths. And they appreciate that. I do not find my girls hair, being the way it has been for the past 2 years, being defiant. I saw it as dying it the same as dying it red or brown. The most common comments I get out in public are from moms wanting to know what I used so they can do their kids hair.
    My biggest issue was not with the objection but with how the situation was handled. How they let other kids with green and crayon red hair go in but not my girls. How the principal tried to lie to me until she realized I was sure of the codes and such and that I knew she had no case. Her inappropriate use of terms she obviously did not know the meanings of and how once she realized she was wrong about it all she simply dismissed me and ducked out. That same day they were calling parents back up to the school simply because the children had not tucked in their shirts. As in made them come back up to the school to explain the infraction instead of just telling the kids to tuck in their shirt. It's a work in progress for not only the students and parents but the school as well. And the principal agreed. It is only her 2nd year there.
    I am NOT always going to get it right. I know this, my kids know this and yes... even their principal knows this. There is no manual when you have a kid and we are all just winging it. But I stand behind how I handled things this week and how I have raised the girls thus far. And we thank everyone for the love and support that they have given us.

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